Today, February 10, 2017, would have been my due date for the baby we lost in July. I thought this would have been a really hard day for me. Or even a really hard week. But I find that I am not sad. Instead, I am filled with praise for this baby that is growing inside of me. I can feel movements and I know in my heart that this was how it was always meant to be. I will always love our first baby and will always be forever grateful that she (although Sean thinks that one was a boy) gave her life so that this baby inside me now could be strong and healthy. She paved the way and brought me peace in a time of immense heartbreak. But like it says in Ecclesiastes (and throughout the bible really), all things happen in God's timing. He knows our life before we are even in the womb and THIS baby that I'm celebrating today, is the baby we were always meant to have. So praise to the Lord for His word. Praise for the baby that we could have met today, but will someday meet in Heaven. And Praise for this new baby who grows every single day.
How far along: We're soooo close to the half way mark. I'll be 19 weeks this weekend and Mini Mohn is a mango! I'm actually craving mangoes right now too, so that is totally a weird coincidence.
What I'm craving: My sweet tooth has finally kicked in. Throughout this pregnancy, I have not been that interested in sweets which is totally weird for me because I have a second stomach for them! But every time we go out to dinner or think about frozen yogurt, it sounds like a good idea until it's time for me to pick and then I don't want anything. But that sure has gone away. I've been eating random pieces of candy all week, dreaming about Braums' brownie fudge sundae, and really hoping Sean will let me get dessert tonight after eating Italian :) I'm also not huge on celebrating Valentine's Day (Sean makes every day special), but I'm really hoping for a cookie bouquet this year (hint hint).
How I'm feeling: I started working out again this week. During week 14 when I decided to go back to CG, I had a really terrible day. I pushed myself too hard and just felt sick all day. I was worried about the baby and it was an all around bad experience. Then I got a cold for like three weeks and didn't do anything at all. But this week, I went to CG three days and felt awesome each day. I finally know how to pace myself and modify the workouts so I can get good stretching in and not overwhelm my body. I'm pretty much the random person dancing to my own tune and I find that I am laughing at myself a lot during these mornings. But I have energy which is great and for once in my life, I look forward to those 5:00 AM alarms. I also did my first prenatal yoga class this week too. And I loved being around all those preggos! There were women from so many different stages and it was exciting to be together and get in tune with our bodies and our babies. I look forward to continuing that until the end of my pregnancy. There was a girl there who was due in two weeks, so I know I can do it!
What I bought this week: I actually did not purchase a thing for the baby, but I definitely started adding things to my online registry. I created a BabyList registry months ago as a way to keep track of things that I liked when I saw them. Then I started adding some of the essentials and I think Sean and I will be ready to really go and do the registry in like 2 or 3 weeks. I'm excited to go shopping with him and see his opinions on things.
What I'm most excited about this week: My mom comes home from Korea on Monday and I can't wait to see all the things her and SamChon bought! But of course next Friday can't get here fast enough so we can see our little mini on the ultrasound again. Until then....!