First of all, I am SO sorry for not posting last Friday! We were on vacation in Gatlinburg, Tennessee and I unplugged for that trip and didn't have my laptop to write on. But I'm so excited to share pictures with you. The scenery was incredible. Sean's family (12 of us including 2 sets of aunts/uncles, his parents, sister and brother-in-law and 2 nephews) rented an amazing cabin at the top of a mountain and we just relaxed and chatted on the porch as we took in incredible views, hiked on trails to waterfalls, walked through an adorable town that looked like an old European country, and spent a quiet long weekend together.
This time last year, as we were planning this trip, I had a totally different idea of how it would be. It was July/August and I was expecting to be pregnant. I started Clomid in July and of course was convinced that it would happen the first time around. Why wouldn't it? I've heard so many stories of women who try for a year, do a round of Clomid, and boom they get pregnant. So of course, I was sure I'd be pregnant on my first round. This also meant that I would be due in mid April-ish. The timing couldn't have been more perfect. It was an end of June trip, the baby would be old enough for me to feel comfortable traveling with, and I would still be on maternity leave so I didn't have to take extra vacation! I was so excited for this trip thinking that we would have a tiny little baby to introduce to everyone. Sean's parents had mentioned they would drive the distance with our nephews so my sister-in-law didn't have to purchase a bunch of plane tickets. I jumped on board and thought it would be perfect so they could take a travel crib with them, car seat, etc. I, of course, had it all planned out. We'd bring the new baby, load up the grandparents, and get to ooh and ahh over our cuddly baby while the rest of the family loved on him/her too. If I got pregnant any later that year, we wouldn't be able to go on that trip, so once again, I was convinced that I'd get pregnant because my timeline was perfect.
As you all know, I didn't get pregnant. But we went on this trip with my husband and his family and still had an amazing time. I didn't get to show off my baby. I didn't get to take pictures with the family and the new addition. I didn't get to buy "Baby's first vacation" stuff. But I did go on a hike, took a gondola ride to the top of a mountain, ate delicious food, slept when I wanted to, played with my nephews, and just had a relaxing time with family. And of course, relaxing is totally what I need right now. People always tell me that if I stop stressing about getting pregnant, then it'll happen. I KNOW! But do you know how hard it is to not stress about that when you want it so badly??
I can honestly say that the stress has gone away. Planning and charting and going crazy every month is gone. I let all of that go a few months ago and have been blissfully going through this summer knowing that God does have a plan for me and I can't control my pregnancy timeline. But it did take a lot of time to get to that point. And I'll tell you all about that next week and so on. But this week, let's enjoy this stress-free time and have a fantastic Fourth of July holiday! I love long weekends and I seriously need a tan. So what could have been, what I thought should have been, and what has been doesn't matter. I'm relaxed from a great vacation and excited to relax on this long weekend! Hope you all do the same!