When I was in my early 20s, I was an egg donor. I had seen an ad in my college newspaper and they paid $3-5k for a donation. For a 20 year old, that was a fortune! So I submitted an application and was selected (and eventually did it a total of 5 times over 4 years). That's right... there are potentially 5 little Summers running around out there. But I really didn't see it that way. To me, the egg was either going to go down a toilet (sorry if that's TMI) or go to help someone who needed it, so I chose to help. Each time I went through a donation cycle, every doctor was surprised on how perfectly fertile I was. My body was built for having babies and every one of the doctors told me I would have no problem at all getting pregnant when my time came...
December 2014 finally arrived and I was ready to get pregnant! Why would it not happen right away? Remember, the doctors said "no problem." Planning for that September baby seemed like an easy to-do. I charted my temperature and everything else you're supposed to check for and figured out the perfect days to conceive. It was December 23, 24, and 25. How perfect! A baby for Christmas? There couldn't be a better gift.
Sean and I then jetted off to St. Martin to meet my family for a Christmas/New Years vacation. We were to spend December 27 through January 3rd on a tropical island with my mom, stepdad, two sisters, and brother-in-law, and it was incredible! But one thing that was top of my mind, and everyone else's, was that I could be pregnant. Granted, only like 5 days pregnant, but I could be nonetheless! So going scuba diving, shark diving, drinking Pina Coladas, and everything else fun was off the table for me. We still had a fantastic time, frolicking on the beach, snorkeling on a reef, island hopping, and shopping. We even ran into Sean's aunt and uncle who stopped at the port on their cruise! Even though I didn't do anything extreme or exotic, it was really wonderful to spend that time with my family. We are a very close bunch, but it's been ages since we've all actually been on a trip together. Those memories (and pictures) will definitely last forever.
But one thing I realized during this vacation was that I sat on the sidelines. This constant thought that I might be pregnant made a little home in the front of my head and became the beginning of an overwhelming obsession. Every action I would take would be based on the assumption that I may possibly be pregnant, and I missed out on a lot. I would think this way for a few weeks until it was the appropriate time to take a pregnancy test. Little did I know that I would continue this cycle of watching life pass me by for months and months to come.